Temptation in strange places

This picture was really tempting last night.  I am dieting according to the 4 Hour Body guidelines, hence no cheese.  Even delicious Laughing Cow cheese.  It’s a little sad how desirable this was last night.

It was just sitting alone there on the pile of celery and dammit did I want to eat it.  No one was around…only I would know that I took the tiniest sliver of healthy celery and equally healthy, yet delicious, cheese.  What’s the harm?

And then I thought…this is the reason that I weigh the most I ever have.  This is the cause for me being the most out of shape I’ve ever been, with chronic aches and pains that shouldn’t hinder most 30 year olds.  I have absolutely terrible self-control issues.

I am coming to some interesting and hard realities as I continue on this way of eating and “body recomposition” plan.  I have a lot of work to do between the ears, not to mention the rest of my overweight body.  My mind is constantly playing the part of the lawyer that defends all of the little compromises I can conjure.

  • You can eat that…no one’s going to know
  • You can eat that…you’ve been eating well the rest of the day
  • You can eat that…you’ll do better tomorrow
  • You can eat that…it will make you feel better
  • You can eat that…who cares what you put into your body
  • You can eat that…you’re not overweight

I have honestly believed and told myself all of the lies above.  I am the type of eater where no amount of food is ever enough.  I always want more.

And last night I recognized that.  I’ve known this for a long time, but it really showed me that I will struggle with this for a long time.  I am asking God for strength to overcome my own demons and fortify my spirit in the battle against Charles Bateman.  He’s a formidable foe, so I know it won’t be easy…and I can’t wait for the challenge.

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