Back at it.

Another favorite on my Four Hour Body eating plan:

Roast Beef Zucchini Roll Up

Breakfast!!

This is a great breakfast!!

And it’s been the key to me losing 13 pounds in 15 days without ever feeling hungry!

Temptation in strange places

This picture was really tempting last night.  I am dieting according to the 4 Hour Body guidelines, hence no cheese.  Even delicious Laughing Cow cheese.  It’s a little sad how desirable this was last night.

It was just sitting alone there on the pile of celery and dammit did I want to eat it.  No one was around…only I would know that I took the tiniest sliver of healthy celery and equally healthy, yet delicious, cheese.  What’s the harm?

And then I thought…this is the reason that I weigh the most I ever have.  This is the cause for me being the most out of shape I’ve ever been, with chronic aches and pains that shouldn’t hinder most 30 year olds.  I have absolutely terrible self-control issues.

I am coming to some interesting and hard realities as I continue on this way of eating and “body recomposition” plan.  I have a lot of work to do between the ears, not to mention the rest of my overweight body.  My mind is constantly playing the part of the lawyer that defends all of the little compromises I can conjure.

• You can eat that…no one’s going to know
• You can eat that…you’ve been eating well the rest of the day
• You can eat that…you’ll do better tomorrow
• You can eat that…it will make you feel better
• You can eat that…who cares what you put into your body
• You can eat that…you’re not overweight

I have honestly believed and told myself all of the lies above.  I am the type of eater where no amount of food is ever enough.  I always want more.

And last night I recognized that.  I’ve known this for a long time, but it really showed me that I will struggle with this for a long time.  I am asking God for strength to overcome my own demons and fortify my spirit in the battle against Charles Bateman.  He’s a formidable foe, so I know it won’t be easy…and I can’t wait for the challenge.

Technology…

SO…I’m kind of a tech nerd. I currently own the following:

• iPod Touch
• iPhone 5
• iPad 2
• White Macbook
• iMac
• Canon Point and Shoot Digital Camera
• Panasonic SuperZoom Digital Camera
• Nikon Film Camera
• Playstation 3

And I want to buy so much more…Here is what I want:

• Good Quality (low-cost) speakers
• Very good Receiver, capable of 5.1 surround, with multiple HDMI slots, and AirPlay
• AppleTV…the small one, not the one that is rumored
• Medium Quality record player — of course I’m going to need lots of Vinyl too for this
• Updated Television…not asking for something crazy…I’ve had my Sony for 8 years now…I’ve been patient. Maybe next year!
• Burr Coffee Grinder…my brother-in-law had one this Xmas…it was awesome
• Macbook Air
• New iMac
• Higher End Digital Camera
• Lots of different image editing, web design, graphic design software
• High Quality headphones for listening to my music cranked!
• Heart Rate Monitor — trying to lose some fat here
• New CD player for my car
• New speakers for my car
• Nintendo Wii U — I am willing to wait on this one. I think my kids would like this more than I, and they can be fun games to play together as a family

I think that’s it. For now…

Doesn’t that list seem a little ridiculous? I mean, I just came up with that off the top of my head. There is positively no reason that I need to invest nearly $10,000 into all of the crap listed above…really. I wonder why I really want these things? Is there something that’s lacking in me that looks towards technology as the answer? I wonder if it’s the same reason that I want all sorts of notebooks and padfolios to write in. Why do I need something special to write in, when all I really need is the paper and pencil that is readily available?

I believe it has something to do with my lack of faith in God and my trust in tangible items. I want that to change…how do I go about such change? Do I consciously strive to find evidence of that which can’t be scientifically proven? Is the answer right in front of me? I don’t know…and maybe that’s the best place to start.

Why Blog for Charles Bateman???

Why in the world would I start a blog?  I am not a big writer, nor do I believe that my ideas are particularly ground breaking.  I’m not a great photographer, web designer, or have skill sets that are necessarily conducive to necessitating a blog.  I lack the narcissism many bloggers possess to have to keep their information constantly updated so they can always keep their 14 followers in the loop.  I am actually going to purposefully create content on this forum so I can remember my life.  The struggles.  The accomplishments.  The worry.  The hope.  Everything.